Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

My Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20%

A long time ago when M. Night Shyamalan still had dignity...

intro continued in this link:
http://www.starwars.com/games/playnow/crawl_creator/index.jsp?cs=323z6a74um


Plot: okay so the republic is in trouble because some systems decide to become independent from it. the senate puts up a vote as to whether or not form an army that will protect the republic from these systems now called the separatists. Padme, now a senator, as recently survived an assassination attempt and is now currently being protected by Obi-wan & Anakin. during this whole thing, anakin & padme begin to fall in love while finding out who is killing her leads tot he discovery of the clone army and eventually the clone wars.

Acting:
Hayden Christensen/Anakin Skywalker: very bad character. simple as that. he's stubborn, arrogant, and doesn't say any good lines to get to padme. it just doesn't make sense that she falls in love with him. i mean in one hand we don't care as long as the story leads to the birth of the ever lovable Luke & Leia, but seriously, imagine their thoughts if they ever found out how their parents fell in love. however i did really like that his part in the film involves telling how he's related to Uncle Owen and that he did get to see his mother one last time. nuthun wrong with that.
Ewan McGregor/Obi-Wan Kenobi: now when i was younger i thought some the stuff he does in this movie was funny...then i got over it. now McGregor has some facial expressions. but still wasn't anything special.
Natalie Portman/Padme Amidala: this is where the down thoughts about portman generally comes into anyone's mind before Black Swan. i mean there are friends from my college who do not want to see Black Swan just because Portman is in it and they generally know her better from these movies. I mean she still did decent but she still wasn't the best.
Christopher Lee/Count Dooku: I liked his performance as Dooku. i thought he was a very lovable villain.

Editing:eh, just how it was suppose to be i suppose. i wouldn't really know.

Place in the saga: well while it's not the best movie you still need to enjoy that they at least begin to explain some things in the star wars series such as the stromtroopers, boba fett, and...sort of the love between luke & leia's parents.

Action: it was good except for one major thing. yes you see an army of jedi fight, but that fight leads to two hundred jedi killed...that's pretty weak.

compared to the rest of the movies: now i actually think that this movie is the WORST of the saga and let me tell you why i say that rather than Phantom Menace. yes there's jar jar binks, but there isn't much focus on the romance between padme and anakin unlike this one. there's so much less excitement in the second one compared to phantom menace where there's even the pod race. and most importantly, while star wars was changed for the worse because of that midi-chlorians crap, at least that didn't make the jedi a little bit like wusses. i mean for over 20 years we only saw about two jedi at most with these films, and then there's this film where this one battle started with 200 jedi and about 15ish minutes later there's only 20 left. i mean it makes a little bit of sense concerning how they have droidakas and super battle droids in the battle but still, before, we only see jedi die either by sacrificing himself to halp other escape, dies of old age or in the hands of a sith more powerful. then you have these droids that were manhandled in the last film who kill a lot of jedi and the jedi have to be rescued by Clone troopers who later become STORMTROOPERS who are lucky hit so much as a BIRD!!! so phantom menace may have jar jar and midi-chlorians along with 2 1/2 hours of mindless entertainment, but at least they didn't have hundreds of jedi die. that's just pretty weak.

so that's my review for star wars: Attack of the Clones

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999)

My Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 90%

"(Singing) There's a bunch of bird in the sky, and some deers just went running by. oh the snow's pure and white all the earth rich and brown. just another sunday morning in my quite mountain town."
-Stan Marsh

this is one of the best comedy movies i have ever seen. it's fun, it's hilarious, the music is great. you just can't get enough of it.

Plot: after watching a Terrance and Phillip movie, all the children in South Park begin to use a lot of strong language. so all the parents in South Park begins to blame Canada (which is where Terrance and Phillip are from) for it and influence U.S.A. to declare war on Canada and it's up to our old pals, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny to stop them.

Characters:
Stan Marsh: Stan is sort of the everyday guy in the group yet in my mind's eye is the one that will often have the big goal or hero call. in example here you have him leading a group of kids to stop the war against Terrance and Phillip and in the process try to win the heart of his crush Wendy despite the sad fact that he often throws up on her whenever she's near him. you just have to like him that way because he's a great character.
Kyle Broflovski: he's the  the voice of reason in the group. Stan kinda is too, but Kyle is known to have a stronger voice than Stan at times. In this film he is pretty much going through the same stuff he always does throughout the movie, primarily with Cartman insulting him mom and the fact that he is a Jew.
Eric Cartman: when it comes to Cartman, if i was to ever give a basic explination of who Cartman is if i was introducing South Park to anyone either with the show or this movie, i would pretty much say that, and i quote: "Eric Cartman is the most selfish, racist, dumbest (yet sometimes clever), power/wealth hungry, cold-hearted son of a mother f*cking b*@#& ever in the history of fictional characters known to man-kind." it's funny sometimes when he is but the rest of the time you just have to hate him. you only get little tastes in this movie that he really is all that, but otherwise i'd recommend the show just to show you that he really is that.
Kenny McCormick: the saddest thing to me is that there is not a lot of Kenny in this movie. i mean yes it makes sense for him to die early in the movie but still...that's only going to happen once in this film. other than that he was just so fricking awesome in this film. and it's cool that you see his face for the first time in this movie. that's just awesome.

everyone else character wise were either shown too much or too little. but they were still fricking funny.

Comedy: this quote is the best way i can describe it.

(Stan and Kenny are going to the Terrance and Phillip movie)
Kenny's Mom: Hey were do you think you're going?
Kenny: (muffling) i'm going to the terrance and phillip movie.
Kenny's Mom: You can't, you have to go to church.
Kenny: *whines*
Kenny's Mom: Oh fine then, go and miss church. and when you die and go to Hell, you can answer to SATAN!!!
Kenny: ...Okay. (walks off)

Music: they just had very fun songs. Quiet Mountain Town, uncle f*cker, blame canada, what would Brian Boitano, Kyle's mom is a big fat B(@*#. i could go on.

so that's pretty much my review for South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. if you want to see an animated movie with strong language, great music, and some hilarious comedy, this is the movie for you.

The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

My Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 70%

say what you will. but i think this has become quite the underrated movie. though it might he slightly cheesy, there's no denying that this is the best Disney sequel there is. because in a way, it's really its own movie.

Plot: A boy named Cody who is friends which a rare golden eagle (let me rephrase that: a rare and fricking BIG golden eagle.) gets captured by a poacher name McLeach who is searching for the bird. naturally word gets out in the world of the little animals, primarily the mice and they send their best rescuers Bernard and Bianca to rescue him, and in the process Bernard tried to propose to Bianca. now i know that's really simple, but really, with how the story is told, there is a lot of excitement and adventure into this movie. something not a lot fo disney squeals do.

Characters
there's nothing too much to say about the characters.
Frank Welker did it again voice wise as McLeach's goanna, Joanna and the golden eagle, Marahute.
John Candy is in this movie as Bernard and Bianca's albatross that flew them to Australia. and he was pretty much the usual.
and really as far as i can guess knowing the opinion of my brother's opinion of the movie now, what will interest you guys the most with this movie is George C. Scott voicing as McLeach.


Editing: not the best but i have noticed a few tactics the they used for displaying some of the events of the movie which was nice.

Music: loved it.

really aside from this, the rest of the movie you'd find out better if you see it yourselves. so yeah i loved this movie and i thought it was underrated with how much they put into the table.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

My Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 50%

okay i'm only saying at least 50 % because personally, i enjoy this movie after seeing past the downs it has, but regardless, it does have downs and i am going to generally attack this movie with them.

plot: it is generally similar to the movie Hook. Hook was about peter pan returning to neverland grown up and eventually remembering his time in neverland before and then had his final battle with captain hook. now that movie was a cheesy one but it turned out to be a great movie still. I mean some of my siblings and i plan to have that movie be shown and treasured to our children who will do the same with their children and their children and their children and so on. and in a way this movie feels the same, but they don't really make it as a great movie to be remembered. this is generally so because by making it something like Hook...and a bit like the recent Narnia movies as well i'll add, they are just making wonderland a place with not a much wonder at all. which is something that at least Hook had a little bit of.

Characters/Acting: there's a lot to say about the characters that makes this subject mixed but generally negative about them.
1) one thing i find i ridiculous is how they are adding names to minor characters unnecessarily. and this is actually something that Disney has been doing for quite a while. to me it seems like after seeing The Lord of the Rings, they thought it was hip, if you will, too add names to characters that play not all that big roles in the movies. now it made sense for Lord of the Rings because such names were actually from the book for those particular characters. and for most of them, you never even hear their names at all in the movies. So Disney has done the same so far with most of their big, live-action, movies such as Narnia and Pirates. With Narnia there were plenty of characters that didn't have names in the book or where in the books at all, and yet there were in the movie such as Aslan's second in-command Oreius and the White Witch's General Otmin. Now with Pirates it's not too big of a deal since it's just based on the Disney ride, but it still is in there. all i'm saying is that that is generally unnecessary and they made it even more so with Alice in Wonderland. what makes it unnecessary is that people are more familiar and prefer what the characters are originally called such at the Mad Hatter, the Red Queen and the White Queen, the Dodo Bird, the Chessire Cat, the Doormouse the caterpillar, the White Rabbit, etc. but they do so anyway. The Caterpillar is Absolem, the white rabbit is Nivens McTwisp, the red queen and the white queen are Iracebeth and Mirana, the doormouse is Mallymkun, the Hare, Thackery Earwicket, the Dodo bird is Uilleam. and here's the thing, you only hear people call them by those names for only most of them. some are given a name and are just called by who they originally are, namely the Hatter. the Hatter is named Tarrant Hightopp but everybody just calls him Hatter. that's how pointless these names are. we don't call the Mad Hatter Tarrant Hightopp we call him the HATTER!!! it just seems like the whole time the Hater gets special treatment kind of when it comes to this just because it's the Hatter and that Johnny Depp is playing him. everyone has to be mixed with one thing or the other but while he also has a specific name, THE HATTER STAY'S BEING JUST CALLED THE FREAKING HATTER!!! cause honestly, it's really the people foolishly obsessed with this movie or Johnny Depp or Tim Burton that would want to call people by the specific names. am i right? heck they've even given names on things like the cakes or potions that made Alice either shrink or grow.
2) Another problem i have considering the characters is how either how much or how little the particular Alice in wonderland characters, or otherwise the actors, are in the movie. in a way it's all good and it makes sense to have Alice, the Hatter and the red queen to get all the glory in a sense because they are the more popularly known characters. but while they kinda get the spotlight they deserve, they leave out many characters AND Tim Burton actors that while they aren't the talk of the town, deserve just as much spotlight concerning how we know both just as well. I mean if you see the original Disney film, you have plenty of other characters to love from Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the March Hare, the DodoBird and oh my gosh let's not forget the White Rabbit. but most of these characters are hardly there at all. The DodoBird voiced by Michael Gough whom many burton fans know him only too well in his medium sized parts in movies such as the first two Batman movies and Corpse Bride, had only two lines. The White Rabbit may have a bigger part but he's still left in the dark with his particular part in the story. they don't even give him a purpose to his his classic "I'm late." line at least once. Tweedledee and Tweedledum are there for a small bit. and then Christopher Lee whom we all know too well at least for him work in the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies, has only too lines himself. seriously.
3) well i'm pretty mixed with the acting. i thought most of it was fine. but there were a few down still.
The Red Queen I thought was the closest to hit her particular part out of everybody. The only problem is that she's acting similar to the Queen of Hearts when her named is the Red Queen which is also an Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass character who has no similar characteristics to the Queen of Hearts besides being a queen.
Johnny Depp and the Hatter i thought was fine, but to me he didn't go the next step so he could blow everyone away. see to me, that's the thing to love about Depp, he generally brings us his usual performance, but while at is, he takes it another step so he can continue to blow us away. now that's not the way will all of his movies, especially not some of his recent roles where he has to just stay at his normal performance like with Public Enemies and The Tourist. and granted, some people have told be that he only did what he was suppose to do based on the Mad Hatter in Through the Looking Glass. But for me i expected him to take that extra step again when it comes to that kind of character, and i'm just disappointed that he didn't.
The girl that played Alice...well...was okay I guess. I guess the thing about her performance is that while the character is still the way she was before as far as being like a child and thinking about things that are total "nonsense". she's not really the same Alice. Really I agree with the Hatter when he said that she "has lost her Muchness" so really what makes the performance okay and something that we should he giving a hard time on the girl about is that they made this Alice someone who has "lost her Muchness", and even then, we don't know what fully expect from the idea of a 19 years old Alice since this is pretty much the first adaption to go outside the story.
and there's plenty to say about everyone else, but frankly i only care to mention those three.


Effects:I thought they were great. i especially like how they made somethings particularity realistic like, such as when the Red Queen wiped the little bit of jelly that was on the lip of that frog. I thought was was very well done. and i thought enlarging the Red Queen's head looked kinda nice. Nothing like either of the queens...but hey, if people like Nickelodeon ever get stupid enough to make a live action movie out of any of their shows were some of not most people have head's bigger than their body's like Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Oddparents, they know what do. (chuckles)...what and idea. that they would so such a stupid thi- oh yeah that's right. they are making a live action Fairly Oddparents movie aren't they? ...excuse me everyone. i'm just going to take some time to lock myself in my room and cry in my bed...

*4 months later*

...okay i'm back. just in time too. i think i almost rid the world of tissues. *sigh* ... okay moving on.

Loyalty to the books: Non-existent. as i might have mentioned before, the big problem with this movie is that they have taken the wonder our of wonderland. everyone and kind of everything has names unnecessarily, many character are seldom and poorly used, and altogether they just made Wonderland like any other Middle-Earth, Narnia, or Harry Potter world-like place.

so that's my review for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. while i personally like watching it, i dislike it regardless what what they made it out to be in whatever specific ways. so yeah.

Brothers (2009)

My Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 50%

now i felt that this movie was going to be WAY worse than spider-man 3 for Toby Maguire the moment he narrated about Natalie Portman's character EXACTLY the way he did it for the first two spider-man movies over Mary Jane Watson.

and in a sort of general sense, i was right.


for the pros in the plot, they left me curious on what was going to happen when i saw the trailer for it. and i was glad but still surprised that the wife & the brother actually only went was far as just a little kiss (but having Toby Maguire was a little annoying with him not believing them.) and they actually showed Toby Maguire's experience being captured which i liked as far as it not just about his brother's time with his family but also showing his time being captured and all. (Plus i thought it was intriguing with him having a beard when he was captured.)

the cons: it was predictable that Toby Maguire was going to be traumatized from his experience when he returned home. and altogether was predictable with the whole awkward sort of drama for the brother and the family and how it went on from there.

naturally from the acting everyone would cry and get all emotional. but at least for Toby Maguire his crying was nothing like his crying form spider-man 3 (ooohhh spider-man 3. may the potential it had R.I.P.) and his snapping during the end of the movie i thought he did just fine because...well...He just seemed to have done an excellent job on being seriously furious.

SPOILER
i don't want to spoil the ending for those who want to see it, but i'm glad that in the end, Toby Maguire finally tells that one thing to his wife that took the whole time he was back during the movie to confess.

altogether, it was not a terribly bad movie but it's still one i would not want to see again for a long time. so there you go.

Transformers (2007)

My Rating: 50%

Well everyone, i'm reaching the climax of my research. For those of you who did not read my review for The Transformers: The Movie, i have been researching about what Transformers really is outside of these movies before i went to see them again in order to be fully ready for the third one. and as such with the help of so much borrowing from the library, i have done the following things:

TV shows:
1) Watched the whole original series of The Transformers
2)saw the first...6 ish episodes of Transformers: Energon
3)saw some random episodes of Transformers: Armada
4)saw the whole series of Transformers: Beast Machines
5)currently taking a look at the current show, Transformers: Prime

Movies:
The Transformers: The Movie (obviously)

Comics:
just a bunch of random stuff i either find in the library or what is currently in Barnes & Noble.

now that's not everything even for things that came before Bay's movies but i've decided to call it and say i know enough from just all of that. so without further ado, I HAK, and review the first movie after borrowing it from the library and seeing it again now i know so much more about the transformers. enjoy...if that's possible.


Plot:
it was very cheesy. cliche even. in a way it's Independence Day 2.0. the story goes, the transformers were made my this cube called the All Spark. eventually one of them named Megatron wanted to use the powers of the All Spark for evil and so leaded an army called the Decepticons. and the guys that are fighting against him are called the Autobots lead by Optimus Prime. War raged and eventually the Autobots sent the All SPark into space to keep it from Megatron. so for millions of years transformers from both sides try to find it. and it end up landing on, you guessed it, Earth. Megarton finds it first but when he reaches Earth in the arctic circle, he gets frozen and eventually places a map of the All Spark's location in the glasses of an explorer. years later, both the Autobots & Decepticons try to get the glasses from the explorer's descendant named Sam. eventually they all find the All Spark and Megatron become free and so comes the final battle which ends with Megatron winning until Sam pushes the All Spark into the spark on Megatron's chest killing him and destroying the All Spark. Now the plot is particularly cliche on four counts.
1) Good vs. Evil: well all love stories like these. but let's face it, bad guys become evil due to their lust for power and the good guys need to stop them and get all 'never give up' in the process.
2) Hero's Story: Sam is introduced as the guy that wants to be cool even if it's just by having a car and a girl. a heroic quest kind of calls when his car turns out to be a Transformer which leads him through a who bunch of things which end with him "slaying the dragon" if you will when it comes to killing Megatron.
3) Guy gets girl: his original goal through out the movie is to win the heart of this hot girl named Mikaela who he has known since the first grade but she hasn't even noticed he even exists until the events of the movie...and through the stuff they both face, he ends up getting her.
4) Guns, cars & boobs: need i say more? a whole lot of the film is all explosions and car chases, people getting killed and of coarse, a really hot chick to top it all.


Actors/Characters:
Humans

Shia Lebeouf/Sam Witwicky: well most of what i said is self explanatory about LeBeouf's character. I think he did a nice job, slightly carried away, but was definitely one of the best actors of the film.

Megan Fox/Mikaela Banes: she did her job and that was just it. because really she doesn't become totally hateful until the next film. that's all i can think about her.

Ron & Julie Witwicky: i could not STAND Sam's parents. that's all i'm going to say about them. i'm not going to lay it down for you because you already know if you have seen the movie and it's good that you don't have a good idea if you haven't. i mean half the time they weren't really into it. Really when Ironhide asked Optimus about killing them because they were irritating...i'd say go for it.

everyone else human wise was just doing there thing. and how good or bad they did really just depended on the kind of character they got.

Autobots

Bumblebee:well you can sort of guess why some fan love Bumbleebee, but what i really dislike about the films now that i've gone through most of the transformers stuff, it's a complete idiotic thing that Bay did to fans with having him not being able to talk aside from using his radio. (lost his voice being injured by Megatron as he distracted him while the Autobots shot the All Spark into space according to the comics) that's just stupid. i mean he gets it back in the end (very cheesy) but he loses it again my the next film.

Jazz: I do not like Jazz. i didn't care for him in the other stuff and even if i did it's enough that they made him almost nothing like he originally is. especially with the voice. that's a no.

Rachet: eh, nothing really to say about him. they just made him the way he was suppose to be.

Ironhide: when it comes to action i think most of us can like Ironhide being the guy with all the cannons & other weapons & stuff. and he's the exact same thing in the original stuff except that he normally dives in front of Optimus if someone is going to dare try to shoot him. but hey, he's still cool.

and the big boy himself, Optimus Prime: now with most of the things with Optimus you can sort of like him in a way. while he's an especially cheesy character, you can at least like him in the comics & such were they have more character development in him and how he takes his role as a leader and as someone determined to defeat Megatron and the Decepticons and for there to be peace. i mean i don't view him as my favorite characters ever. but i can sort understand the idea of why so many fans love him to death...in a scary way.

Decepticons:

Barricade AKA the police car: all i'm going to say about this guy is the holes in the movie over the fact that they make you assume he's dead after he fought Bumblebee, and then he pops out of nowhere but then is never seen again after the scene on the highway.

Frenzy AKA the little guy that's a boombox: he was such a weird character. and also nothing like what he originally is. what is messed up especially with him is how in some points, he sounded like Robert Towers who was the original voice of Snoopy in most of the TV Peanuts specials.

Blackout/ Scorponok AKA the helicopter and the scorpion guy: the one problem i have with Blackout is where he hesitates to kill the back soldier that took a picture of him. cause it was long enough to distract him so he can escape. and as for Scorponok, i thought we was cool but i wouldn't think too many would get excited that he's in it as the small form as he is. i mean the guy is not even a real living transformer. he was created and then controlled by this alien. i mean he is a normal transformer in other version but still.

Starscream: what i imagine a lot of people who are long time fans of transformers when they saw this movie is how they didn't show a darn thing about Starscream's determination to get rid of Megatron and try to become the leader of the Decepticons. that's one of the most obvious things that happen in the main storyline of the Transformers.

Megatron: they almost developed Megatron perfectly for this movie. the two problems is is that he gets killed by a human easily (which i liked about LeBeouf's character too i mean the guys the basic Souron, or Vader of the film and he kills him. but that's still a down for Megatron) and of coarse, there's the most ridiculous thing: when Megatron gets unfrozen, all he does as he begins to kill some soldiers is "I AM MEGATRON!!!!" seriously. he guy has been frozen for years and he's finally free and about to grab the All Spark and then he just says that line like he's part Pokemon.

Screenplay: well it's obviously bad. but all that i'm going tomention a few things. 1) i thought it was funny with the joke Sam pulled on the jock that was Mikaela's boyfriend. 2)i think we can all roll our eyes when there was a part in the movie were Rachet landed on earth and a lot of people were crowing were he landed and there's this kid that's making a video of it on his phone shouting how there's "explosions everywhere" and that he "swears to god that this is million times better than Armageddon" now that may be true, but seriously. that's a roll you eyes at what Bay was doing there. not to mention there is stuff like that one guy who is running from the police and he runs through the window door. what's with that?

Sound effects/mixing: now most of the sound effects were great...but they could have been better. i mainly say that because i noticed a flaw in the sound mixing where there are two points in the movie where as someone is transforming, part of the effects to the transforming was the actual sound effect in the original series for transforming. trust me they did use that. i heard that effect a million times from that series and i heard it right away in the beginning of this film and i was like "what. the. frick?" so yeah.

Visual effects: they were good but i wish i could have seen things more clearly.

Editing: i didn't like the editing. i mean they did their job plenty, but the thing was that A) there were a lot of camera shots that they used that i did not agree on because they weren't clear enough. especially when it comes to the action. and B)some of the action was too fast.

music: the original score was alright. but i especially disliked where they used rock & rock type of music or stuff like that when it comes to some of the action. especially when it's a car chase where they really played songs like that while the cars are speeding, driving through abandoned warehouses, really just falling in line to my Guns, cars and boobs section for the plot.

so that's my review for the first Transformers movie. now in a way this film works as far as actually introducing the story. but it's still a bad, cliche movie...and now off to review the second one. wish me luck.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

My Rating: 15%

okay now i've gone through this one again and it deserved its razzies. but i will say this: to me there was a whole lot of potential in what great idea they had with this movie. i mean as far as action, bit of plot and so on, this one is better as far as going forward from the last one. but oh my fricking gosh did they throw that potential away.


Plot: okay so it's been two years since the last film. the Autobots have forged an alliance with the humans against the remaining Decepticions. (great start. i enjoyed how that's more common after the battle from the first film) meanwhile Sam is going to college and while he's trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with Mikaela, neither of them have gotten started is saying that they love each other. (what the frick? it's not like you guys are getting married (thank heavens)) but when sam touches a piece of the All Spark he starts to get a bunch of symbols in his mind. while at it, the Decepticons recover another piece of the All Spark and use it to resurrect Megatron. it is later revealed that Megatron is serving the original Decepticon known as The Fallen (Megatron serving someone? weak)and they need the symbols in sam's mind. while trying to get sam, Megatron manages to kill Optimus Prime and then the Fallen threatens the world to give sam to him or he'll destroy the planet. sam then comes across a seeker named Jetfire who explains that The Fallen wants the symbols in his head because it's the key to finding The Matrix of Leadership which activate a machine that destroys suns in order to harvest energon. sam find the Matrix but it turn into dust. so he takes the dust that tries to use it to resurrect Optimus as the Autobots & humans begin a battle against the Decepticons. during the battle, Megatron kills Sam who goes to Transformers heaven...no really, he goes to Transformers heaven...maybe he was converted into Transformerism between movies i guess. but in heaven the first primes resurrect him and reconstruct the Matrix in some spiritual way, and so he resurrects Optimus, The Fallen takes the Matrix, Jetfire give his parts to Optimus which turns him into this major bad-a, the kills the Fallen, Megatron flees and Sam and Mikaela finally admit they love each other.
now it's pretty terrible, but you have to admit that considering how they put out the transformers story to be outside of just plain old, Autobots vs. Decepticons and all the guns, cars and boobs and explosions Michael Bay has to offer, there was potential in this film.

Acting/Characters:
Humans

Shia Lebeouf/Sam Witwicky: what was Lebeouf doing? tell me that most of what he did was Bay's doing. and i'm mostly referring to him screaming like a girl. I mean sure, it's nice that he's not a major acting wimp like in the last film with trying so hard to be a somebody and always using that line "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!", but how they changed him since the events of the film is just horrifying. and even outside of the acting there's the character to begin with, with him still not telling that the loves Mikaela after being with her for two years now, and how he still has a hero's call going on for him. and that's another thing; he's getting the hero's call, and then at the end of the movie when he's in Transformers heaven, you hear the Primes tell him that his destiny has always been just using the matrix to resurrect Optimus. i mean seriously imagine if that was you. like say i lived my whole young adult life playing video games, making comics, become a Christian, watch movie, and my whole point in living is just to resurrect somebody and that's it. i mean sure it'll help saving the world and stuff but seriously.

Megan Fox/Mikeala Barnes: now this movie is where we start to really not like Fox. there are plenty of ways to list why but i think the worst is that her character did let Wheelie hump her leg. and the best defense she has is that "at least he's loyal." not okay. But hey, big news is that she's NOT COMING BACK FOR THE THIRD ONE!!!! so the next girl might not be great actress at all, but better that than fox.

John Benjamin Hickey/Galloway: i hate Galloway. he's a complete moron. and i mean moron in the kind of moron from the Aliens movies that tried to do research and stuff on the Aliens and while it's more shutting down the alliance with the humans and Autobots, it's just as moronic.

Ron & Julie Witwicky: now they are just as embarrassing for Sam. and with Julie i totally agree that she was at least nominated for worst supporting actress at the Razzies.

John Turturro/Simmons: he was in the last film but i decided to save it for this film when i say that this is a very bad character too. you are just not comfortable with him at all.

Ramon Rodrigueaz/ Leo: he's worse that Simmons. cause that least Simmons had a little bit of dignity.

everyone else human wise was the usual. but it was nice to see Rainn Wilson as Sam's professor earlier in the film.

Autobots

Jetfire: I did not like Jetfire. he's so different for the worse when comparing to what he really is in the original franchise.

The Twins: they were annoying and they played a bad stereotype and they were just not funny.

Wheelie: what's to say about him? he's annoying and he humped Megan fox's leg.

Optimus Prime: from my experience with Transformers, this was a good film in terms of showing the real bad-a in him. I mean to me, the best battle scene there was with Optimus was the last 40 seconds of him fighting Megatron, Starscream and that helicopter before Megatron killed him. but i would imagine some fan would not like how with this film, they might make people believe that Primes are an actual type of Transformers race. and i actually thought that before i did the research. but it turns out that a Prime is just the title for the leader of the Autobots if that bot is chosen by the Matrix, which in fact is not just a battery for a harvest, it's a major source of power. The force in a bottle. or maybe what's more to say is that it's basically The One Ring for the Autobots. now true, when the time of the Transformers began, there originally was more than on prime that existed, (except that it was 13 primes not 7) and The Fallen was on of them, but still. they mixed a few things for the matter fo the Matrix and about Primes in Transformers.

Bumblebee: well they kind of made him more of a bad-a with this movie, but they kind of made him a wimp at the same time. i mean when sam tell him that that he's not coming to college with him, he starts to cry. that's just ridiculous. and he switches back to using the radio because according to the comics between the movies, he lost his voice again during a Decepticon attack. and what i don't think a lot of movie watchers like us would enjoy is that some of the things he uses to communicate is quotes from some of the best movie there is like Forest Gump and A Wonderful Life. grr.

Decepticons:

Megatron: well i do like that he is more himself about how much he desires control...but even when i hardly knew a thing about Transformers, i was very disappointed about him actually having a master (The Fallen) i mean the general story is that Megatron desires to be supreme ruler. he belongs to nobody. i mean the only time aside from this were he is actually serving someone was in The Transformers: the movie, were he served Unicron just so he can avoid being turned into oblivion. and i don't get the fact that he's growing a lot in this film and even spitting. last thing to say, which i forgot to mention in my review tot he first film is how messed i find it that he is voiced my Hugo Weaving. you can hardly recognize the voice.

Starscream: well they showed more of his character by pointing out how he left Megatron to die during the first film. but he's still not trying to lead the Decepticons. i mean sure, it's a cheesy thing since it's there all the time but what are you going to do with Starscream if not have him be so determined to lead the Decepticons?

Devastator: you would know him better as the guy that was eating sand and such. really they made him fairly cool making him what the is on a few senses. but then you have the part where you see in nuts...as in his making children type of nuts. i mean transformers can fall in love and pair up, but they are created not made by breeding...and yet Bay even confirms it that it's his nuts...what the heck?

Soundwave: i love Soundwave. he's my favorite just because of his awesome robotic voice from the original series. yet while they still have Frank Welker voice as him, they have him go with the Soundwave voice were he sound more like Gothmog in Lord of the Rings. i mean that makes sense but that's still lame. but here's to more of him in the next film.

The Fallen: there really isn't that much to say about The Fallen, there's nothing i could've found about him in terms of tv shows & such only that he was in the comics once. other than that, he really wasn't much since they didn't do much with him in this movie.

Sound effects/mixing: it was better. and it was more exciting...but i could still detect the original sound effect fo transformers transforming from one scene. and i disliked how they used other effects that have already been used like the sound effect for that guns in the future from the Terminator series. i just prefer that they just use their own thing really.

Editing: okay so the editing was better. they used some wider shots so you can understand what is going on better. but on major flaw i notice is how they reused two shots during one scene: one where they first introduce Soundwave and the other shot were we saw Optimus, Ironhide, Jazz and Rachet head to earth. so that's a no.

effects: better and i also forgot to say from the last review how i love the creativity in how the transformers actually transform with these movies. well done really.

plot holes:
1) who did the Decepticons know about the shard that sam had when he has just found out about it.
2)why did they need the shard to awake Jetfire
3) wheelie disappears during the end of the movie
4) the Autobot JOlt appears out of nowhere to help Optimus merge with Jetfire's parts.
there's just millions more.


And that's my review for Revenge of the Fallen, they had some potential and they screwed it up. and while the next one will alsob e bad, there is hope that it'll be better with both action and the fact that Fox won't be in it. so we shall wait until then to see how it is and to end my quest about Transformers. see you then.