Wednesday, February 1, 2017
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (2008)
Plot: George, Sedgewick, and Elliot (Pa Grape, Mr. Lunt and Larry the Cucumber respectively) are employees at a dinner theater who want to be seen as heroes by their loved ones but believe their dreams are unattainable because they are cabin boys. Suddenly, a mysterious object called the Helpseeker transports them to the kingdom of Monterria where Princess Eloise summoned them to be the heroes that will save her brother Alexander and their father the king from an evil pirate named Robert the Terrible.
So how does the second VeggieTales movie holdout? Sadly it's much more childish in a way that makes it a downgrade compared not only to its predecessor but to VeggieTales in general. Jonah wasn't a phenomenal kids film, but for what it was, it still succeeded in being a fun film for both kids and adults to enjoy. It had lovable moments with everyone's favorite VeggieTales characters, fun music, and a good message about God and his love. This film, on the other hand, seems to focus more on just the kids which gives us some of the cheesiest things ever to be put into VeggieTales.
The biggest problem with this film is how unbearably cheesy the script is. The main story is about the three heroes overcoming their flaws such as not being scared of everything, being lazy and always being a "yes man." All of these flaws lead to morals that you can see from little kid shows from PBS or Discovery Kids or some really cheesy Saturday morning cartoons. You know from the first scene with all three of them what is going to happen practically step by step. It even has the horrible cliche of the liar reveal story line which, to the film's credit, they don't really get into it as long as they could have, but it's still there. I know that this is mostly meant for kids, but part of what made VeggieTales so popular was how it was something that both kids and adults can enjoy together as a family as well as delivers morals that connect to God's word. I get that this film is kind of a spin-off of sorts, but it just feels like they're not really trying when they replace important lessons about God and his love with these overused morals about not being afraid or lazy. Heck, do they even mention God in this movie?
If I had anything good to say about the movie I would say that while the villain is cheesy, his mechanical suit was kind of cool and while the songs as a whole don't really stand out, I have to admit the Jolly Joe's song was enjoyable in a silly yet fun kind of way and the TobyMac song at the end credits What We Gonna Do? was pretty catchy. I also like the moments where Elliot is brave or with his girlfriend, but that's mostly because Larry is my favorite character.
And that's my review for The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTalbes Movie. It has some little nice things about it, but it otherwise makes it clear that it's only meant for little kids. The script is cheesy, the villain is forgettable, and the morals are as overused as you can get. You'll like it fine if you are a kid, but if not, then this is one film you should skip.