The Swan Princess (1994)

This is another animated movie that I saw at least once when I was very little and kind of wanted to see again at some point as I got older. I overhear a lot of my friends hating it - one of my best friends Meg especially as this major loathing for it. But I still wanted to see it again, and when I found out that Doug Walker's next Nostalgia Critic review was on this movie, I decided it was time to see it before seeing his review and giving my two cents on it. So here is my review for The Swan Princess.

Plot: A king and queen from separate countries decide to betroth the king's daughter Odette and the queen's son Derek. As the children grow up, they quickly hate each other but start to have feelings for one another. Eventually they fall in love once they reach adulthood, but when Odette find out that Derek really wants to marry her because of her beauty, Odette rejects him. But on the way back to their own kingdom, an ever sorcerer named Rothbart whom Odette's father banished comes back wanting revenge and kills the father and kidnaps Odette. Rothbart puts a spell on Odette where she turns into a swan by day and turns into a human at night if she's in the lake at his castle under the moonlight. He keeps her there until Odette agrees to marry him so that her father's kingdom can be his, while Derek becomes determined to rescue Odette.

Now I can't quite begin to talk about this film without discussing how much Meg cannot stand even talking about this movie. I mean to be frank, her numerous vents against this film only made me want to see it a little more because I wanted to find out for myself as to why it's something that practically enrages her more than I EVER have been for movies that I hate with a passion like Hangover Part II and especially Spider-Man 3. Is her venom against the film warranted? Well...yes, but as bad as it is - and make no mistake that it's bad, I mean where talking about a really bad movie that was trying to be Disney - I would argue that the story could've been a bit smarter with a little more work. Now I am mainly saying that over the fact that Derek wanted to marry Odette just because of her looks was the thing that pisses off Meg like mad the most. Again, her venom is warranted - I mean that's a horrible thing to say or feel about someone, and even after she talks about it repeatedly, I was still left shocked at how remarkably stupid this moron of a so-called male lead was when I got to that scene. But I can't help but feel that as dumb as it was, it could've been used for a really good moral. As much as I knew they weren't going to take this direction, I couldn't have helped but feel that the need for Derek's reasons to genuinely want to marry Odette to change could've been handled maturely enough to teach kids how you should look for better and deeper reasons to even like someone let alone want to marry. They kind of sort of do at the end, but it was really forced in and rushed at the last second. Plus, it also would've helped if they gave us more time on their relationship, and as it was, they really had just one, sort of two scenes together between after Odette rejects him and right before the climax. So has remarkable stupid as that was, I feel it could've been put to decent use. Another example is how there is need for a lot of improvements with Rothbart's evil plan. Doug Walker mentioned some pretty good points as to what was wrong with his plan such as what was stopping Odette from leaving, what stops her from communication with other people and so on and so forth. Personally, I think what could make his plan a little smarter, would be something like there's a magical force that keeps her from leaving his castle and more interestingly, that she would have to be in the lake for whenever she transforms, or dies if she doesn't. The latter especially I feel would've A) raised the stakes higher and B) made more sense considering how important she makes it that she's in the lake when she transforms. Because other than the whole thing with the moonlight, there doesn't seem to be any other real reason to change from human to swan or vice versa, because a lot of the time, it both sounds and looks like she kind of can do both (turning from human to swan especially) without really needing to bother to be anywhere near the lake. But for all my defense over how the story could've been better, that still leaves us with all of the other problems with the film. The Derek and Odette are nothing all that memorable - heck, Doug Walker makes the argument that, that almost justifies the fact that Derek said there was just beauty to like about Odette. The side characters are dull...though oddly enough I kind of found Steven Wright as Speedy to be sort of amusing. And Rothbart was really lame as a villain. Not only did he have an evil plot that has been before, but neither his personality or design did him any justice. He felt more like he's some crazy, over his head, kind of obnoxious old guy than an evil, powerful menacing-in-any-way villain. I mean aside from casting a couple of spells and fighting in the climax, he didn't even do a whole lot. The songs are very forgettable; almost half of them are from side characters that are briefly seen, rather than from the actual main/supporting characters. We had the royal musicians sing a song, we had coachmen servants sing a song, even technically these women that have Joker-like smiles that are trying to get with Derek have a song. And whether it's sung by side characters or by the actual main/supporting cast, they were all bland, they did not fit with the story, heck some of the choice of their lyrics in some random spots of the songs where a little weird.

And that's my review for The Swan Princess. I admit to sort of liking Speedy, but otherwise, it's a bad Disney wannabe with uninteresting main characters, a lame villain, unnecessary songs, and a storyline that could've been really mature and maybe even clever with a little more effort, but instead was a complete missed oppertunity. It's little wonder that people like Meg dislike this movie, and while I don't share their loathing per say, it's definitely a movie that you should not bother to see.

Rating: 15%