A Troll in Central Park

Rating: 0%
I just...I mean...I guess I used to see a trailer to this a lot on the VHS copy of Thumbelina when I was a kind and just always wanted to see it just do that I have and... I heard it was really bad, but it sometimes even practically astounds me how this movie really is bad. So to let's get on with me reviewing this movie and then let everybody move on with their lives.

Plot: In an underground world called the Kingdom of Trolls, flowers are banned by the evil queen Gnorga. But a kind troll named Stanley loves flowers and has the power to create them with his magical thumb. The queen find out about this and decides to turn him into stone, but then her husband suggests to send him to a place where "everything's rock and steel so he can't grow anything" (or something like that). So Gnorga agrees to his idea and banishes Stanley to Central Park. Stanley is miserable in Central Park until he comes across two children named Rosie and Gus and befriends them.

Ugh, I don't know where to begin outside of just plain saying that it was a horrid movie. Well let's start by putting it this way; during the beginning of The Nostalgia Critic's review for this movie he called it a parody of an actual kids movie. And he's pretty much right. The animation is not terrible but it has some pretty bad moments, the characters are stupid, the plot is cheesy and we are surrounded by things that come out of the blue that are weird or just don't make sense at all. I mean I'm sure this is film is innocent and cute it you're a 2 year old or something but after that it's a terrible movie that is filled with dumb/weird plot holes or stuff that's just plain dumb such as *WARNING SPOILERS...I MEAN YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T CARE BUT IF YOU DO...HERE'S THE WARNING* Gnorga somehow knowing exactly where to banish Stanley even though Llort didn't tell her exactly, Stanley's cave somehow turning into a place where dreams become a reality, Gus' dream was weird especially how that big pirates ship randomly blew up, no adults noticing anything that happen in central park even if it gets destroyed, the destroyed central park seems to have a castle or something even though it's central park, Gus' reaction to Rosie's "death" was just plain stupid...the list just goes on and on. *END OF SPOILERS* So really I'm just mentioning whatever plot holes or other issues are popping into my head but know that there are countless more. It's just a horrid movie and I do not recommend it.

Characters:
Stanley: The one time dear Dom DeLuise (may he rest in peace) is the hero of a movie, and this is what happens. Stanley just was not entertaining. I mean I had to ask my friend Meg for help to find a descriptive way to explain why he's bad, and she said, and I quote; "He is one craized-up fruit loop that made any mythological characters want to kill themselves since all he wants is to make our planet green." And for the most part, she's right. I mean it's fine to want to go green for the sake of our environment, but if you're going to give us a character that's suppose to send that message, that character must be entertaining, which he's not. He was just cheesy, he created plants and stuff that were a little bit if not completely weird, and there's plenty of other reason that I can't think of right now as to why you just. can't. get. into. this. character.   

Music: The music was terrible, I mean both of Stanley's main songs were just terrible. I mean part of it is that they were a little too...lightly toned and the messages to them where just plain bland. Gnorga's villain song was just as bad because the melody and the lyrics and all that stuff just did not make it impressive at all as a villain song.

And that's my review for A Troll in Central Park. It's just a horrible kids more - if you'd even call it that - with bad story, bland characters, plot holes and stuff that's just plain weird. So if I were you, I'd stay away from this movie and pretend it doesn't even exist. Now if you need me, I'll be working on reviewing actual movies that are entertaining like Gladiator and The Hurt Locker.